Family of Coul
by CeliaEquus
Summary: The sequel to 'His Brave Warrior'. Two versions of Thor and Phil meeting Phil's family. V1, they meet in a café, where the narrator 'accidentally' eavesdrops. V2, they meet at Phil's grandparents' place, including his least favourite foster sister. Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Marvel or 'Agents of SHIELD', nor am I making any money from this.
1. Family of Coul

**Style warning: I'm not used to writing in present tense, nor in second person point-of-view. So I apologise if I don't get it quite right. I'm usually past tense, third person POV, but I do try to challenge myself on occasion.**

"Family of Coul"

There's a pair of guys in a corner booth. One's an older man in a dark grey suit and blue tie. The man next to him is tall, with long blond hair and a huge smile. They're side-by-side, holding hands, and Tall Blond is leaning against the window. They look so happy together it's tooth-achingly sweet. Really. They're not even talking; just looking at each other.

The bell over the front door rings, and you look up automatically. A couple – white-haired, chatting, arm-in-arm – enter the bistro. Suit sees them, and he stands up. They hurry over to him, and you hear a lot of 'Mom' and 'Dad' as he hugs them.

"This is Thor," he says, gesturing to Tall Blond. It looks like they might be getting ready to order, so you pick up notebook and pencil, and approach the table.

"I have long desired to meet Phillip's parents," Thor says. "It is truly an honour to make your acquaintance."

"I keep telling him that he can call me Phil, but Thor likes formality."

"Can I get you anything?" you ask brightly, pencil at the ready.

"We'll both have a Devonshire tea, with the scones warmed up," the woman says, patting her husband's hand. "Phil?"

"Haven't had one in ages," Phil says.

"What about you, Thor?" Phil's dad asks.

"That sounds wonderful, Mr. Coulson."

"None of that. It's Robert and Julie to you, son."

Thor beams. (Isn't 'Thor' the name of one of those superheroes? Or a god?)

"Four Devonshire teas?" you say. Four nods. "Would you like anything else?"

"That's fine, thank you," Phil says. The others agree, so you return to the counter to start up the coffee machine.

It looks like they're making small talk. A lot of the people who come here don't really get into interesting conversation until you've brought their order. Then it's like the floodgates open. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll hear some of it. The guy Thor has a hell of a voice on him. He probably whispers louder than most people talk.

"…met not long before Manhattan last year," Phil is saying when you bring the first two teas over. He hands them to Robert and Julie. "Thanks."

"I'll be right back with the others," you say. When you get back, they're talking about Phil being in hospital afterwards. He must've been hurt in the attack. He's lucky he didn't die, with all those aliens flying around.

Funny. Thor does kind of look like the guy with the hammer. But there's no way he'd be here, hanging out with his boyfriend's parents in a downtown bistro, having coffee and scones.

"Enjoy," you say. They all say thanks, and you decide that, with not many people dining in, now would be a good time to tidy and clean some of the tables.

The quartet of customers – hello, alliteration – is talking again by the time you've returned with a cleaning rag and spray.

"How did you meet again?" Julie asks. "Phil talks so little about his work, I have a hard time getting anything out of him. But he said it was in Europe?"

"That is correct," Thor says. "I had thought Phillip was still deceased, and the pain of grief returned when first I saw him. When it became clear that he was no illusion, I—"

"Nearly squeezed me all the way back to death," Phil says. Thor looks sombre. You can see it in the reflection of the pepper shaker.

"You ought not to jest about such happenings, Phillip," he says.

"I'm sorry, love," Phil says. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him hold Thor's hand. "I had no idea you felt so strongly about me, or my death. Not until I saw you again. Then I had a hard time not falling for you. I knew you were handsome, but…" He turned kind of red, and looked over at his parents. You wonder if there's any point in still pretending that you're just polishing tables. "I had to get in contact with him, to consult about a work-related matter."

"That sounds about right," Robert says, leaning back. He puts his arm around Julie. They look adorable; now you know where Phil the Suit gets it from, with his guy.

"I didn't know that Thor still thought I was dead," Phil continues. "I was just as surprised. We hadn't been able to get hold of him in time, actually, but he was helpful in the… cleanup afterwards. I had to introduce him to someone, so it all worked out."

"After that, I refused to leave his side until I had assurances that he would maintain contact with myself, and with my team-mates," Thor says. "We none of us knew that he lived."

"Which made things difficult with my co-workers," Phil mutters. You're getting a bit too close – any closer, and you definitely think he'll work it out – so you move further away. As long as Thor keeps talking, you'll be able to hear about half of the conversation.

"Phil," Julie says, and she sounds worried. "You were hurt in the line of duty, you said."

"Yes, Mom."

"…What job involves keeping it from your _co-workers_ that you're alive?" she asks. It's a good question. One he's clearly not going to answer.

"You know I don't talk about it for a reason," he says. Yep. You were right. "Besides, I was given a transfer – a promotion, really – and we were never in the same place. And I really thought that, out of all the team, they would be the ones who'd know."

"I can assure you, Phillip, that they did not," Thor says.

You immediately hate the next person who walks into the shop, because it's just you on today, except for Matt, who's baking out the back and can't be disturbed. Filling the order – thankfully a takeaway – unfortunately also takes you away from the four people at table six.

When you get back to 'cleaning', you hear them talking about a wedding. Sure enough, there's a definite glint, now that the sun's low enough, coming off Thor's left hand. In the same beam of light, you can see one on Phil's hand, too.

It's getting close to four, and Phil insists on paying the bill. That much you can definitely hear from the counter, where you're now arranging the savouries Matt has finally taken out of the oven.

Without a word, Phil hands over the exact change.

"Receipt, sir?" you say.

"Yes, please." You hand over the print-out, but he doesn't leave right away. "Of course, you won't be talking to anyone about what you've seen or heard."

"I… I don't understand—"

"It'll come to you later," he says. "Not a word to anyone else. I'm sure you understand that, don't you?" You nod, unnerved by the glint in his eyes. "Good. This may seem a strange question, but you look kind of familiar. Do you have a sister who works in a gas station on the way to New Mexico?"

"Well…" Spooky. "Yeah, I do. You have, uh, a great memory for faces, don't you?"

He just smiles. Now he's looking familiar.

"Your parents wish to take us home, and show me images of you from many years ago," Thor says. He kisses Phil's cheek and holds him around the waist. Phil looks embarrassed. You look down at the till awkwardly.

"Baby photos," he says. "Of course they're going to show you baby photos. Why not?"

"It's a rite of passage for every mom and dad, when their child's going to be walking down the aisle," Robert says, and he claps Phil on the back. "Let's get going. Thanks for the scones," he adds, smiling at me. "Best I've had for a long time."

"You're welcome, sir," you say. Then they all troop out.

It takes a few minutes, and a couple more customers, before it dawns on you.

That was Thor. Thor the Avenger. And his fiancé… is Flour Guy! Now you know where you've seen him. Your sister showed you the footage after that attempted robbery, when you refused to believe that someone could take out two armed robbers with a bag of flour and walking on air.

…A guy who can take on two armed men just with a bag of flour is _not_ a guy you want to get on the wrong side of.

Conversation? What conversation?

* * *

**I decided that Phil's parents should be alive. In the comics, they're dead, according to the Marvel Wiki. Since I wrote 'His Brave Warrior' – the prequel to this – before I saw 'Thor 2' and the latest episodes of 'Agents of SHIELD', parts of that story are definitely non-canon. Well, I mean, the whole thing is, technically. But you'll know what I've mean if you've seen the movie, the show, and read my fic.**

**In other words, Phil is an orphan no more.**

**Table six, because six Avengers.**

**Galaxy-song asked for a Thor/Phil story where one of them meets the other's parents. Admittedly, that happened in 'His Brave Warrior' as well; but that one was fulfilling another prompt, too, so I felt Galaxy-song should have another story, just about meeting the parents. Instead, there ended up being two…**


	2. Family of Coul 2

**This was the first 'Family of Coul' I wrote, as a sequel to 'His Brave Warrior', but I felt that the stories were too similar, in that it involves someone questioning why Thor would be with Phil. Still, I worked on it long enough to feel that I should post it, if nothing else so that my 'hard work' won't have gone to waste.**

"Family of Coul 2"

Phil hesitated before his fist could meet the door. The dark brown wood, the worn doorknocker, the scratches from some small beasts… these things were as far from the grandeur of Thor's home as they could possibly be. They even differed from the image of Agent Coulson. And yet warmth exuded from this residence. He could hear a hum of voices, pierced by laughter.

"Why do you pause, Phillip?" Thor said. He pressed up behind his intended, and held his waist. "I've not yet seen you pause."

"Yes, you have," Phil said. His shoulders slumped infinitesimally. "I just wasn't expecting so many. It's only supposed to be my grandparents and a couple of my foster siblings. I had no idea… and _she's_ here."

"She?"

"One of my foster sisters." Phil's lip curled in a rare sneer. "You can hear her laughing… now."

"Ah. I had thought that to be an electronic device. It hardly sounds real."

"Thor, I love you, but it's probably best if you don't speak to her. At all. She's… well, not to insult female dogs everywhere, but she's a bitch. She was only with us for a couple of months; it wasn't enough time to change her personality to something… bearable. If she insults me, please just ignore it."

"Hmm."

"Really. You know the lord who challenged me when we visited Asgard?" Thor growled. "Well, she'll probably be a lot subtler about her remarks."

"Should she cause you grief—"

"I'm used to it from her." Phil sighed, and then rapped upon the door. "Just remember that Mjolnir is in my car, and you know I don't like anything to happen to Lola."

"I would not cause injury to your family, Phillip."

Phil leaned back, and Thor caused him to tilt his head with a kiss to his neck. He allowed his lips to linger, only withdrawing when the door began to open with a creak.

"Hey, Grandma," Phil said. An elderly woman smiled widely, and held out her arms. Phil stepped into the embrace, and Thor's heart warmed as he watched.

"Hello, Philly," the woman said. Her voice quavered. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see you again, my boy." Then her eyes met Thor's, and she let go. "This is your young man?"

"Not so young, but I thank you, Lady Coulson," Thor said, and he kissed her hand. She giggled like a woman half her age.

"Call me Grandma," she said.

"As you wish, Grandma."

"Come in, come in," she said, and Phil and Thor entered the hall. Phil kissed Grandma's cheek. "What's your name, young man? Phil said it was Thor, but I'm sure that's a nickname."

"No," Phil said. "That's his real name."

Grandma seemed to take this easily. "And your last name, young Thor?"

"Odinson."

She nodded. "Good. It suits you."

"Thank you, Grandma."

"Who will be taking whose name?"

"Grandma!" Phil said, eyes growing wide.

"I'm old, not blind, sonny," she said, and she tapped his hand. Thor chuckled. She had noticed their matching engagement rings. "Come through and meet the family, Thor."

They followed her into a large room, the furniture against the walls, and crowded with people. Silence fell when they entered the space. Thor gave his pleasantest smile, and settled one hand on Phil's waist again, keeping him close. Even in the presence of those not a threat, he still succumbed to feelings of possessiveness, and was always prepared to stake his claim should it prove necessary.

"Good afternoon," Phil said. He moved into Thor's touch again. Thor knew that this provided his lover with some comfort, and was proud to give him that comfort. "This is my fiancé, Thor Odinson. Thor… this is my family. Well, most of it."

"I am filled with joy to meet those dearest to my Phillip," Thor said, and he bowed his head to them.

"This is Pop," Phil said, leading Thor to an aged man.

"I'm Philly's grandfather," the man said, leaning across to shake Thor's hand. "You can call me Pop, if you're calling Elsie Grandma."

"Do you like Pop Tarts?" Thor asked. Pop laughed loudly.

"That I do," he said.

"Then we have that in common. Pop." He straightened, and looked down at Phil. "How is that name a derivative of 'grandfather'?"

"I have no idea," Phil said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, since we're discussing names," a young woman began to say.

"Are you gonna ask me for Phil's hand?" Pop asked. "I mean, that seems to be redundant, but—"

"Of course!" Thor said. Inwardly, he was cursing himself for having forgotten. In truth, he had not anticipated such a gathering, either, and had planned to ask Phil's grandfather in private. "Pop, would you grant me permission to wed your grandson Phillip?"

"You didn't even need to ask," Pop said, a twinkle in his eye. Thor laughed. "Yes. Just as long as we get to be there."

"They won't be able to go to Asgard," Phil said in an undertone. "It would be too much for them, Thor."

"Then we will hold two matrimonial ceremonies," Thor said. "Is it not obvious?"

"Okay, I've got two questions," the young woman said, breaking in on the conversation yet again. Judging by the cloud over Phil's face, this was the foster sister whom he had spoken of only minutes before. "One, what, were you named after that mythical god? You know, from Norse mythology."

"Oh God," a young man said from the other side of the room. "Now she's got started."

"I am not named for the god of thunder," Thor said after a pause. He pondered the dynamics of the room, and stole a glance at his betrothed.

"Two," the woman said, seemingly satisfied by his evasive – yet truthful – answer. "What's a guy like you doing with Phil?"

"Was it not clear? We are affianced. Further than that, I will not discuss, to spare Phillip's blushes." Phil coughed, and moved closer to Thor.

"Uh, kinda not what I _meant_," the woman said. She flipped her flaxen hair over her shoulder. "I meant that you're hot. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with Phil? I mean, he's just… Phil. No offence, honey."

Thunder rumbled outside as Thor took a step towards her. Phil moved with him, and pressed a hand to Thor's chest.

"Don't," he said.

"You think little of one you would call brother?" Thor asked, his voice soft as he attempted to hold his temper at bay. It was proving nigh on impossible.

"No, god no," she said, sitting back. "It's just… I mean, who'd look at you and think you were together? You're, like, total opposites."

"Except that we're both male and alive, obviously," Phil said. "And in similar lines of work." He was keeping Thor in place, but barely. Thor could have pushed past, but he feared hurting his beloved, nor did he wish to disgrace him in front of his family.

"I tire of those who do not appreciate you, daring to cast aspersions," Thor said, scowling as he glanced at Phil. "Lord Brokr was unaware of your character, although he should have known not to question the crown prince of Asgard. But you have named her sister, and yet she—"

His words were then drowned out by the loud clap of thunder outside. Those present reacted violently, and Thor tried once more to control his anger. Phil looked concerned, and was pressing harder against Thor's chest.

"I get that you're unhappy, but there will always be someone who thinks we shouldn't be together," he murmured. "Do those people's opinions matter to you so much?"

"…No."

"So don't let it get to you, Thor." Phil stroked his arm. "And for Odin's sake, don't call you-know-what. I love you, but that doesn't excuse hurting my car."

"Of course," Thor said, and he kissed Phil on the forehead. "I apologise if I distressed you, Phillip."

"Did…" They looked at Grandma. "Did you say crown prince?"

Thor was beset with shame, and he cleared his throat. "Uh…"

"Of Asgard," Phil said. He slid his hand down Thor's arm and entwined their fingers together. Thor's heart gave the heartiest of jumps, as was customary when Phil chose to show such affection publicly, and the brewing storm subsided. "Thor was right. He wasn't named after the god of thunder."

"Oh my," Grandma said. Thor leapt to assist her to a chair. "Oh my."

"Are you unwell, Grandma?" Thor asked, bending to study her face. She was somewhat paler, and yet she smiled at him. She petted his cheek.

"Just fine, dear," she said. "No wonder you said you weren't young."

"I have lived some millennia, and will live many more with Phillip, I hope."

"Apparently they 'have ways'," Phil said.

* * *

**And I never got any farther than that. Oh bother…**

**As you can see, this is from Thor's point-of-view, in contrast to Phil's point-of-view in 'His Brave Warrior'.**

**Galaxy-song asked for a Thor/Phil story where one of them meets the other's parents. Admittedly, that happened in 'His Brave Warrior' as well; but that one was fulfilling another prompt, too, so I felt Galaxy-song should have another story, just about meeting the parents. Instead, there ended up being two…**

**Just realised these are about the same length each. Don't know how that happened.**

**Please review!**


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